is it my fault ?

"I never realized how much it could hurt to lose someone you never really had"

and the bad news is i feel it now. in fact , he never belongs to me but when he went out from my life , i feel like so hurt. i feel it so damn hurt until now. this is not kind of hurt like "i can not breathe" or "i wanna die now" or whatever which is seems like someone who very desparate. i mean, hurt like you just feel there's something wrong in your heart and and just he the one who can heal that pain .

is it my fault ? because i am hoping something that i could never reach ?